A Positive View

In the past few days I began to realize something about myself. I have become a coward. I used to have big dreams and goals for my life. I wanted to travel places, and fall in love, and write a book, and live a life full of laughter and love. The past few days I discovered that I have slowly become a person who shies away from dreaming big and taking chances. I used to be fearless and full of hope, excited at the possibility of finding love and discovering who I truly am.

Somehow, I let fear creep into my life and slowly consume me. I find myself constantly trying to tell myself that I shouldn’t hope too much because then I will be disappointed if things don’t turn out the way I expected. I try to protect myself from sadness and failure. What a tragic way I’ve been living my life. I have missed out on so many wonderful opportunities. I let my insecurities and doubts get the best of me. I came to the realization tonight that I need to stop living that way. Life is meant for living. We are here to feel and experience things in their entirety. We should be hoping for things with all of our heart, and when they don’t work out, we shouldn’t pretend like we’re fine and its no big deal. Let those feelings out! Cry until you can’t anymore, let yourself feel the disappointment, then give yourself a good kick in the butt and get back on that darn horse. 

Think of a new dream, set a new goal and get to work on it. The beautiful thing about being human is that we have amazing brains that have this wonderful thing called an imagination. We were given those for a reason, to use them. We are able to create whole new worlds in our minds and dream big.

We were given the ability to hope for a reason. It gives us the opportunity to start again and believe in the best. We shouldn’t be afraid of hoping. Hope gives us a reason to smile every morning and every night as we go to sleep. There is hope on the horizon for a better, brand new tomorrow where anything is possible.

Explore the things that make you laugh and bring you joy. Be who you want to be, try to be your best self every single day. Get dressed up, put on some make up that makes your eyes pop, why the heck not? Show the world you’re ready for what it has to throw at you. Experience life and let it move you and change you. That’s why we’re here. Take advantage of that, and live everyday to the fullest.

^Whole Wide World-Mindy Gledhill

The Average Human

The average human isn’t perfect. We were made that way, we stumble, we fall, and we get back up. It’s a beautiful thing to be able to make mistakes. Even though most people will disagree, it really is. If we never made mistakes, how would we learn? We would all be a bunch of arrogant pricks running around with inflated egos. We’d probably never take the time to teach and learn from other people.

If you’re anything like me, you probably strive for perfection every single day. It’s a tiring job, trying to be perfect (It’s also irrational considering we never will be perfect). Yet we strive for it anyways.

Nobody likes to mess up and anybody who tells you otherwise, is a big fat liar. Nobody likes to be the one who screwed something up. It’s not a good feeling to know that you let someone down. But here’s the thing, we are too hard on ourselves. We live in a society where perfection is expected and nothing less. They expect you to have the perfect body, the perfect looks, the perfect job, and the perfect family. They basically have us striving for something that doesn’t exist. Life is messy; it’s never going to be perfect. No matter what you do, your kids will make a mess, and they will disappoint you, and they will mess up, but if you can see past all that, they will also bring you greater joy than you could have imagined. All those messy moments of childhood, the time they drew on the wall, or finger painted the table with pudding, will become memories of the good times. Those are the days of innocence and fun that you can never get back once they grow up.

In our pursuit of perfection, we don’t realize that we are often missing out on the moments that really count. Yes, it’s good to strive to be something better, but when you do that are you forgetting to take a moment and just breathe? Are you enjoying the curveballs that life throws your way? If you haven’t learned the great secret of life yet, I’m about to share it with you: LIFE NEVER TURNS OUT THE WAY YOU PLAN. Sure, your general idea might come true, marriage, kids, job, family, etc. But you might have it planned out to the T what you want in life, and I guarantee you, probably 10/10 times, those plans won’t come true.

The smart people learn to accept that, and they see that usually the parts they didn’t plan are the best parts of their lives. The not so smart people grumble and complain and talk about how nothing turned out the way they wanted, they choose to be unhappy and unaccepting. They’re being selfish, thinking only of themselves and the map they laid out for their life. People like that need to take a step back and look at what their life has really become. They need to appreciate the moments where they laughed so hard they couldn’t breathe, or the day they spent lying on the beach listening to the crash of waves and soaking in the warm sun on their skin. They need to remember that even though they didn’t plan on being a parent, they are, and those precious moments with their child are what they’ll remember in the later years. Not the long nights working overtime to get a big paycheck. They need to see the good instead of the bad.

Don’t live an empty life of fake perfection. Learn to accept the messy moments, learn to love and appreciate them. It’s in those moments that we have the chance to truly become who we want to be. We are able to learn from our mistakes and grow and become better. I’m not saying don’t strive to be better, because we should all have that ultimate goal, but we need to remember that it’s okay to mess up, it’s okay to fail so badly at something that you can’t imagine how to make it better. Don’t be so hard on yourself, remember to take a step back and give yourself a pat on the back for all the hard work you put in. When you’re up close it’s hard to see the progress you’ve made, but when you step back and look at the big picture, you will see that you actually are doing well. You’re doing better than you think, I promise. So don’t beat yourself up, learn to celebrate the small victories, because those are the ones that matter most.

^Human-Christina Perri

Forgiveness is Divine

I think it’s safe to say we’ve all heard that cheesy saying, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and realize the prisoner was you.” The first time this little meme popped up on my timeline I didn’t think too much of it. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how true it is. When you aren’t forgiving, you’re grudging (Yes I just made that word up). Which is not a healthy thing to do. If anyone can hold a grudge, it’s this girl. However, something I’ve learned in the past few years is that sometimes you have to just let it go.

I know, you’re probably thinking, “This chick’s crazy. I can’t let that go. They hurt me.” Well, you don’t have to take my advice, but it’s dang good advice. (I can’t take all the credit; most of it came from general conference talks) So, here’s my advice: learn to accept an apology you may never get, and when someone does apologize, accept it, and mean it.

One of the worst things in the whole entire world is when someone tells you that you’re forgiven, and they don’t mean it! You think everything is fine and dandy, then BOOM, you hear they’re still talking about how mad it made them. If you’re going to give someone forgiveness, truly give it to them. You need to forgive them with your whole heart, not just half of it.

Think about it like this, what if our Savior, who paid the price for our sins so that we could be forgiven, didn’t forgive us? What if he gossiped about it, and held onto it until he thought we’d suffered a sufficient amount before finally forgiving us? That would be terrible, absolutely and undeniably terrible. That’s not how it works.

 Forgiveness is a process, it’s more than uttering the words, “I’m sorry.” It takes effort. When you want someone to forgive you, you need to show that person how truly sorry you are. You need to prove that you can change, and try your best not to hurt them like you did before. When they are able to see that you are truly repentant, it will be much easier for them to forgive you.

Now, there is always that rare case where you’ve offended someone who is so immature and unable to look past it that they are angry forever. In that case, tell them they suck and move on with your life. Just kidding. In this case, as hard as it may be, you need to love them, and keep showing them you are sorry. If they still don’t forgive you, that’s their own problem, and you really will just have to move on with your life.  It happens.

Here’s another thing to remember: most of the time people hurt us on accident. They didn’t do it on purpose; they didn’t do it because they’re evil. Honestly, 8/10 times, they did it because they love us. Sometimes when the people who love us try to help us, they end up hurting us. That’s a very important thing to remember when you are angry with someone. Try putting yourself in their situation. Try imagining what they were thinking and feeling and why they did what they did. I guarantee that you will be a lot more forgiving when you do that.

Plus, let’s remember, you’re not so innocent yourself. How many times have you hurt someone’s feelings? Everybody does it. We’re all just a bunch of imperfect humans running around trying our best not to screw everything up. Which is humorous because usually by doing that we screw things up. But hey, that’s the beauty of earth life. We break things and then get the chance to fix them again.

Sometimes, in the most unfortunate of cases, we are hurt so deeply we might think we’ll never be whole again. We curse the person who hurt us, and swear to everything that we will never forgive them because gosh dang it, what they did was despicable and they don’t deserve to be forgiven. Well, newsflash, that’s wrong. Trust me, I know what it’s like to feel that way. There are some messed up people in this world, and they do some pretty terrible things. They leave scars that may take years to heal. It’s not your place to punish them. We don’t have that right. Jesus Christ forgives everyone, and He loves everyone. There isn’t one soul that has ever lived that he doesn’t love. Remember all of the stories and parables in the Bible? When have you ever heard of Christ not forgiving someone?

We need to find it in us to forgive and forget every terrible thing that someone has done to us. You’ll be happier, they’ll be happier, and your Savior will be so proud of you for taking one more step in the direction of becoming more like Him. That’s why we’re here, we came to this earth with the goal of returning back to our Father in Heaven and becoming as Christlike as possible while we’re on earth. We didn’t come to do anything else. That is the big picture. If you focus on that, you’ll find it easier each day to love, and serve, and find peace in doing those things. Nothing will bring you greater happiness and fulfillment than knowing you gave someone peace of mind. So please, take my advice and forgive people. It’s the least you could do.  Don’t let yourself be a prisoner in your own life.

Much love,

Katie

Check out this fabulous talk by President Uchtdorf:

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/04/the-merciful-obtain-mercy?lang=eng

The Fairytale Life

Taylor Swift may get a lot of crap for her relationships and all the songs she sings about them, but if you listen closely, you’ll find a lot of truth in her songs. One of my favorite lines from her newest album is, “Love is a ruthless game, unless you play it good and right.” Oh, how terribly true that statement is. Love is like a game of Russian roulette. You take a shot and hope you don’t die because of it.

Here’s the thing, we all think that our life is going to be a fairytale, that the man of our dreams will come up to our door and tell us they are madly in love with us and can’t stop thinking about us and plant a big smooch right on us that will take our breath away. Of course, there is always that 1% of the population who does get that romantic and happy ending. But for the rest of us, it’s not that easy. We go through rejection after rejection, not knowing what we did wrong. It’s the worst. Especially when a guy tells you they like you, and then decides to suddenly change his mind. There is nothing more confusing.

How many countless hours do we spend listening to Taylor Swift and eating ice cream just hoping and praying that they’ll see the light and realize how they feel about us? The sad truth is, they just might not like us the way we wish they would. I believe there is someone out there for everyone, but more often than not, it comes in a way completely unexpected. We have all these unreal expectations from all the romance novels we’ve read and romantic comedies we’ve watched. In the end, what it comes down to is that we just want someone to love us.

Every girl is the same when you get rid of all the surface stuff. We just want someone to notice how unique and beautiful we are. Is that so much to ask for? So many people make fun of Taylor Swift for her songs about her countless failed relationships, but here’s the thing, Taylor Swift knows, man. She writes about real stuff. If you’ve felt it, she’s got a song about it. And let me tell you what, it is much better to put yourself out there and to get your heart broken over and over again than to never take a chance. Yes, it may hurt, but at least you’re trying, and with every broken heart you are able to come back stronger, and learn from mistakes and learn what you like and want in a person. And even more important, you are learning about yourself.

Something that most people don’t realize is that you can be happy all by yourself. You will never really be happy with someone if you aren’t happy by yourself first. You have to realize that it may be a very long time before someone comes into your life to stay forever. Instead of moping around and being sad about it, take that time to start developing all the qualities that you would want in a significant other. If you focus on becoming the best you that you can possibly be, eventually, when the time is right, a wonderful man will walk into your life and make you so incredibly happy you’ll wonder if your life is a sappy romance movie.

In the meantime though, you might have to be a little lonely and unhappy. You might have to deal with being “just friends” with the person you like a lot. Sometimes it’s not the right timing, and that’s okay. Patience is a virtue, and in the end it really pays off to wait for what you really want instead of settling for something crappy because you didn’t want to wait. It’s like Mother Gothel said in Tangled, “All good things to those who wait.” Even though she was evil, she was right when she said that. Take it to heart. Keep your chin up, things will all work out in the end and you’ll find yourself looking back at this time in your life and laughing about how distraught you were over all of this. Life is a crazy ride, learn to enjoy it while you can.

The Greatest Gift

Life is hard. Anybody who tells you it's not, is a big fat liar. While we're here on earth, we go through all kinds of trials. It's all part of the plan, our Heavenly Father created us and sent us here so that we could experience life. He sent us here so we could feel, and make mistakes, and get the chance to pick ourselves back up. Sometimes we have to fall so hard, that we can't rely on anyone else but our Savior and Heavenly Father to pick us back up and dust us off. It's not uncommon to hear people complaining about how hard life is, or how unhappy they are because certain things aren't how they want them to be, or what they expected. Well, newsflash: Nothing ever turns out they way you want it to. It is so much better. The funny thing is, we think we know best. We run around doing what we think is best for us, and for the people around us. Here's the kicker though, we don't always know what's best for us. Sometimes unexpected things happen to us and we think, "Why me? What did I do to deserve this?" But we have to look back and remember that Heavenly Father gives us these trials because He knows best. He knows what we need in our life, and He knows what we need to improve. It's easy to get angry and give up because sometimes the trials he gives us are just too hard. But we can't give up, that's what our dear friend, Satan wants us to do. I know from personal experience that he will literally go to any lengths to get us to give up and be miserable like him. But we have to fight that. Choose to be happy. Don't focus on what's bad in your life. I've learned that when you do that it only makes things worse. There are a lot more things good in life, than bad. So what if the guy you like doesn't like you back? Yeah, it hurts, but you don't need him to be happy. So what if your friends are being mean? Kill them with kindness. Christ loved everyone. Even the people who spit on Him, hated Him, and put a crown of thorns on His head. He loved every single one of those people. The only thing you need in life to truly be happy is the love of the Savior. Know that He loves you, more than anyone in the entire world. That knowledge alone should make you the happiest person in the world. Focus on that, and every little stupid (or maybe not so stupid) problem will seem a lot less pressing and a lot easier to tackle. There is a lot about life to love, even when you think your life sucks, and it couldn't possibly get any worse. Just remember your Savior who died for you, who felt everything you're feeling, and I promise you will be a lot happier. 

Much love,

Katie.