Honesty Is Always the Best Policy

Why is it always hardest to be honest with the people you love the most? You would think that because you love them, it’d be easy to be straightforward with them, and I guess sometimes it is. But most of the time, at least for me, it is so hard, I never want to be the bearer of bad news. I want to be the good friend who never messes up and is always supportive. I would hate knowing that I caused someone I love so much to hurt.

The longer I live, the more unrealistic I realize that is for 2 reasons; 1) nobody is perfect, we’re all flawed (which means I will always be a flawed friend), and 2) you’re not really being a good friend by holding back the truth from people. It almost makes you the opposite of a good friend. I’ve learned that sometimes you have to love someone enough to tell them no, or to tell them when they are being rude and irrational. If you don’t, you’re letting them continue to act in a way that isn’t good for them.

I have never been one for confrontations. I tend to let things slide that I really shouldn’t because I can’t stand when people are upset with me. It makes me sick when people are upset with me.  I’ve realized recently that this is a selfish way of living. I don’t address things that need to be addressed simply because I’m scared and I don’t want someone to be mad at me. When I think back, I remember my friends who told me when I was being mean or doing something I shouldn’t be doing and I don’t doubt that they cared about me. I know that they loved me enough to tell me, and it didn’t ruin our friendships, it made them stronger. You simply cannot have a healthy relationship if you can’t talk about things…all things. You have to be willing to hear (and tell) the good and the bad. It may be hard to accept, but if someone stops being your friend because you were honest with them, they really aren’t worth keeping around. I feel like the older I get the more I realize how important it is to surround yourself with good people. You have to weed out the ones that bring you down and stick with the ones who actually care.

When you spend years letting someone get away with things, it tends to wear on you. And odds are, they don’t even know how you’re feeling because you never had the guts to tell them that when they did something it upset you or hurt your feelings. So they keep on doing it, and you keep on getting upset about it. It’s a not a healthy way to live, it doesn’t benefit anyone.

It’s important to learn when to speak up. Honesty can be a very helpful, good thing, but you have to know when it’s appropriate and how to deliver the truth. If it’s said at the wrong time or for the wrong reasons, it will only cause damage.

So don’t wait until it’s too late, don’t wait until your relationship is barely hanging on. Tell the truth love someone enough to be honest with them, love them enough to help them overcome their weaknesses. Relationships are not about making other people like you, they are about helping other people to become the best possible version of themselves. That doesn’t happen when you’re letting things slide and pretending what they do doesn’t hurt your feelings. Speak up, for the ones you love. Don’t let them go through life clueless.

"I Know That My Redeemer Lives"

I am so thankful that I have been able to build a relationship with my Savior. He is my nearest and dearest friend. I know, without a doubt, that He is always there for me. He cries with me, laughs with me, listens to me, and most of all, He loves me. He has a never-ending supply of love for me. I know that I can turn to Him with any problem that I am facing and He will comfort me and help me through it. 

He knows, better than anyone, exactly what I am feeling and what I am going through. He felt it all for me so that when I came to earth He would be able to comfort me when I stand in need of comfort and mourn with me in times of sorrow. He truly is my kind, wise, Heavenly friend. He will never fail me. When everything else fails, He is there. He is rooting for me. He is on my side, and He will NEVER give up on me. 

My Savior is my best friend, and He can be everyone’s best friend. He is just waiting for the day when we all return home to Him and He is finally able to greet us with a huge hug. No matter how far we try to stray from our Savior, He is always right beside us, waiting for us to turn to Him and accept His helping hand. Christ wants us to trust Him, and to talk to Him. 

I know for a fact that Jesus Christ is the Savior of this world. I know that He died on the cross for every single person who will ever live, and I know that He suffered for every single one of our sorrows and sins. He knows how it feels when we fail a test, He knows how it feels when we get rejected, He knows how it feels when a family member dies, and He knows how it feels to be lonely. 

He suffered so that He could comfort us in our darkest days. And He yearns for us to understand that this is only a small moment in our lives. There are brighter times ahead, and He knows that. Christ knows that things will get better, and He can’t wait to celebrate those times with us. What an amazing thing our Savior did for us. I am infinitely grateful for His sacrifice and everything He does for me daily. We weren’t made to go through this life alone, so don’t try. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are there, and they want to help us. So don’t be afraid to reach out your hand, they will never let you down.

Lessons Learned

Sometimes you have to put yourself first. In order to help other people become their best selves, you must first be happy. One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that you have to learn how to be happy by yourself. You can’t go through life counting on other people to make you happy. You won’t ever truly be happy that way. I hate to break this to you, but people aren’t perfect, and they’ll disappoint you. First and foremost in your life should be the Savior. If you keep your life centered on Him and the love He has for everyone, you’ll find yourself happier than you could ever imagine.

In the past few months I’ve found myself on the long and exciting road to happiness. I’ve been searching and praying and trying so hard to find it. I had an empty feeling in me, and a sadness that I couldn’t quite pinpoint. I knew that I should be happy, and I tried my best everyday to be happy, but it wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I realized what I was missing. I needed a more positive outlook on life, and I needed help to get it. I ended up doing the exact thing I should have done at the beginning of my journey; turn to my Father in Heaven. I prayed every day that He would help me to see things through a brighter lens and find “joy in the journey”.

It was amazing to me how instant my results were, as soon as I had asked my Heavenly Father for help with something specific, I noticed a huge change in my life. Nothing had really changed except for me. I still had the same life, the same problems, and the same trials, but I began to see everything as a blessing to me. I realized all of the wonderful lessons I had learned through my trials, and I began to see how much I had grown and evolved.

As I began to see my life in this cheery light, I couldn’t contain the love I have for my Heavenly Father. Where I’d once felt bitter and confused, I now felt happy and I understood why I had been put through certain things. My heart was so full I thought my chest was going to burst. I didn’t even know how to begin thanking Him for everything He’d done for me. I realized that even though at times I’d been in potentially dangerous situations, He had guided me out and kept me safe. Some trials I went through and came out knowing how to connect and empathize better with people than I could before. My heart was softened and I was able to see past all of the bad and the hurt I’d been through and truly be thankful for it. I even found myself able to let go of things that I’d been holding onto for so long.

I worked hard everyday to make sure I was praying and reading my scriptures and looking for the good instead of the bad. It was amazing to me what happened when I kept my life centered on Christ. I felt like the Grinch did the day his heart grew 3 sizes bigger than it used to be. I felt so much love for everyone around me and I could see them as beautiful, special children of God.

I am so thankful for all the bumps along my road, each one has shaped me into the person I am today. I know, now more than ever, that we are truly never alone. Our Heavenly Father and our Savior are with us every step of the way. They hold our hand and listen when we need it, and they intervene if they need to. They know us better than anyone, and they know what lessons we need to learn in order to live a happier life and bring more joy to people. I know that becoming a happy person might be hard, it hurts to grow, but the end result is so worth it. We are able to reach our potential and become a person we never imagined we could be. Take time to look around you and recognize all that God has provided you with, put on your happy glasses and see things in a more positive way. You won’t regret any of it, and someday you will be able to look back and say, “I did it. I really did it.” Life is too short too waste any second being anything but happy; drink in the small moments that define who you are, they are precious learning moments from above, don’t waste them.

A Positive View

In the past few days I began to realize something about myself. I have become a coward. I used to have big dreams and goals for my life. I wanted to travel places, and fall in love, and write a book, and live a life full of laughter and love. The past few days I discovered that I have slowly become a person who shies away from dreaming big and taking chances. I used to be fearless and full of hope, excited at the possibility of finding love and discovering who I truly am.

Somehow, I let fear creep into my life and slowly consume me. I find myself constantly trying to tell myself that I shouldn’t hope too much because then I will be disappointed if things don’t turn out the way I expected. I try to protect myself from sadness and failure. What a tragic way I’ve been living my life. I have missed out on so many wonderful opportunities. I let my insecurities and doubts get the best of me. I came to the realization tonight that I need to stop living that way. Life is meant for living. We are here to feel and experience things in their entirety. We should be hoping for things with all of our heart, and when they don’t work out, we shouldn’t pretend like we’re fine and its no big deal. Let those feelings out! Cry until you can’t anymore, let yourself feel the disappointment, then give yourself a good kick in the butt and get back on that darn horse. 

Think of a new dream, set a new goal and get to work on it. The beautiful thing about being human is that we have amazing brains that have this wonderful thing called an imagination. We were given those for a reason, to use them. We are able to create whole new worlds in our minds and dream big.

We were given the ability to hope for a reason. It gives us the opportunity to start again and believe in the best. We shouldn’t be afraid of hoping. Hope gives us a reason to smile every morning and every night as we go to sleep. There is hope on the horizon for a better, brand new tomorrow where anything is possible.

Explore the things that make you laugh and bring you joy. Be who you want to be, try to be your best self every single day. Get dressed up, put on some make up that makes your eyes pop, why the heck not? Show the world you’re ready for what it has to throw at you. Experience life and let it move you and change you. That’s why we’re here. Take advantage of that, and live everyday to the fullest.

^Whole Wide World-Mindy Gledhill

The Average Human

The average human isn’t perfect. We were made that way, we stumble, we fall, and we get back up. It’s a beautiful thing to be able to make mistakes. Even though most people will disagree, it really is. If we never made mistakes, how would we learn? We would all be a bunch of arrogant pricks running around with inflated egos. We’d probably never take the time to teach and learn from other people.

If you’re anything like me, you probably strive for perfection every single day. It’s a tiring job, trying to be perfect (It’s also irrational considering we never will be perfect). Yet we strive for it anyways.

Nobody likes to mess up and anybody who tells you otherwise, is a big fat liar. Nobody likes to be the one who screwed something up. It’s not a good feeling to know that you let someone down. But here’s the thing, we are too hard on ourselves. We live in a society where perfection is expected and nothing less. They expect you to have the perfect body, the perfect looks, the perfect job, and the perfect family. They basically have us striving for something that doesn’t exist. Life is messy; it’s never going to be perfect. No matter what you do, your kids will make a mess, and they will disappoint you, and they will mess up, but if you can see past all that, they will also bring you greater joy than you could have imagined. All those messy moments of childhood, the time they drew on the wall, or finger painted the table with pudding, will become memories of the good times. Those are the days of innocence and fun that you can never get back once they grow up.

In our pursuit of perfection, we don’t realize that we are often missing out on the moments that really count. Yes, it’s good to strive to be something better, but when you do that are you forgetting to take a moment and just breathe? Are you enjoying the curveballs that life throws your way? If you haven’t learned the great secret of life yet, I’m about to share it with you: LIFE NEVER TURNS OUT THE WAY YOU PLAN. Sure, your general idea might come true, marriage, kids, job, family, etc. But you might have it planned out to the T what you want in life, and I guarantee you, probably 10/10 times, those plans won’t come true.

The smart people learn to accept that, and they see that usually the parts they didn’t plan are the best parts of their lives. The not so smart people grumble and complain and talk about how nothing turned out the way they wanted, they choose to be unhappy and unaccepting. They’re being selfish, thinking only of themselves and the map they laid out for their life. People like that need to take a step back and look at what their life has really become. They need to appreciate the moments where they laughed so hard they couldn’t breathe, or the day they spent lying on the beach listening to the crash of waves and soaking in the warm sun on their skin. They need to remember that even though they didn’t plan on being a parent, they are, and those precious moments with their child are what they’ll remember in the later years. Not the long nights working overtime to get a big paycheck. They need to see the good instead of the bad.

Don’t live an empty life of fake perfection. Learn to accept the messy moments, learn to love and appreciate them. It’s in those moments that we have the chance to truly become who we want to be. We are able to learn from our mistakes and grow and become better. I’m not saying don’t strive to be better, because we should all have that ultimate goal, but we need to remember that it’s okay to mess up, it’s okay to fail so badly at something that you can’t imagine how to make it better. Don’t be so hard on yourself, remember to take a step back and give yourself a pat on the back for all the hard work you put in. When you’re up close it’s hard to see the progress you’ve made, but when you step back and look at the big picture, you will see that you actually are doing well. You’re doing better than you think, I promise. So don’t beat yourself up, learn to celebrate the small victories, because those are the ones that matter most.

^Human-Christina Perri

Forgiveness is Divine

I think it’s safe to say we’ve all heard that cheesy saying, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and realize the prisoner was you.” The first time this little meme popped up on my timeline I didn’t think too much of it. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how true it is. When you aren’t forgiving, you’re grudging (Yes I just made that word up). Which is not a healthy thing to do. If anyone can hold a grudge, it’s this girl. However, something I’ve learned in the past few years is that sometimes you have to just let it go.

I know, you’re probably thinking, “This chick’s crazy. I can’t let that go. They hurt me.” Well, you don’t have to take my advice, but it’s dang good advice. (I can’t take all the credit; most of it came from general conference talks) So, here’s my advice: learn to accept an apology you may never get, and when someone does apologize, accept it, and mean it.

One of the worst things in the whole entire world is when someone tells you that you’re forgiven, and they don’t mean it! You think everything is fine and dandy, then BOOM, you hear they’re still talking about how mad it made them. If you’re going to give someone forgiveness, truly give it to them. You need to forgive them with your whole heart, not just half of it.

Think about it like this, what if our Savior, who paid the price for our sins so that we could be forgiven, didn’t forgive us? What if he gossiped about it, and held onto it until he thought we’d suffered a sufficient amount before finally forgiving us? That would be terrible, absolutely and undeniably terrible. That’s not how it works.

 Forgiveness is a process, it’s more than uttering the words, “I’m sorry.” It takes effort. When you want someone to forgive you, you need to show that person how truly sorry you are. You need to prove that you can change, and try your best not to hurt them like you did before. When they are able to see that you are truly repentant, it will be much easier for them to forgive you.

Now, there is always that rare case where you’ve offended someone who is so immature and unable to look past it that they are angry forever. In that case, tell them they suck and move on with your life. Just kidding. In this case, as hard as it may be, you need to love them, and keep showing them you are sorry. If they still don’t forgive you, that’s their own problem, and you really will just have to move on with your life.  It happens.

Here’s another thing to remember: most of the time people hurt us on accident. They didn’t do it on purpose; they didn’t do it because they’re evil. Honestly, 8/10 times, they did it because they love us. Sometimes when the people who love us try to help us, they end up hurting us. That’s a very important thing to remember when you are angry with someone. Try putting yourself in their situation. Try imagining what they were thinking and feeling and why they did what they did. I guarantee that you will be a lot more forgiving when you do that.

Plus, let’s remember, you’re not so innocent yourself. How many times have you hurt someone’s feelings? Everybody does it. We’re all just a bunch of imperfect humans running around trying our best not to screw everything up. Which is humorous because usually by doing that we screw things up. But hey, that’s the beauty of earth life. We break things and then get the chance to fix them again.

Sometimes, in the most unfortunate of cases, we are hurt so deeply we might think we’ll never be whole again. We curse the person who hurt us, and swear to everything that we will never forgive them because gosh dang it, what they did was despicable and they don’t deserve to be forgiven. Well, newsflash, that’s wrong. Trust me, I know what it’s like to feel that way. There are some messed up people in this world, and they do some pretty terrible things. They leave scars that may take years to heal. It’s not your place to punish them. We don’t have that right. Jesus Christ forgives everyone, and He loves everyone. There isn’t one soul that has ever lived that he doesn’t love. Remember all of the stories and parables in the Bible? When have you ever heard of Christ not forgiving someone?

We need to find it in us to forgive and forget every terrible thing that someone has done to us. You’ll be happier, they’ll be happier, and your Savior will be so proud of you for taking one more step in the direction of becoming more like Him. That’s why we’re here, we came to this earth with the goal of returning back to our Father in Heaven and becoming as Christlike as possible while we’re on earth. We didn’t come to do anything else. That is the big picture. If you focus on that, you’ll find it easier each day to love, and serve, and find peace in doing those things. Nothing will bring you greater happiness and fulfillment than knowing you gave someone peace of mind. So please, take my advice and forgive people. It’s the least you could do.  Don’t let yourself be a prisoner in your own life.

Much love,

Katie

Check out this fabulous talk by President Uchtdorf:

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/04/the-merciful-obtain-mercy?lang=eng