Why
is it always hardest to be honest with the people you love the most? You
would think that because you love them, it’d be easy to be straightforward with
them, and I guess sometimes it is. But most of the time, at least for me, it is
so hard, I never want to be the bearer of bad news. I want to be the good
friend who never messes up and is always supportive. I would hate knowing that
I caused someone I love so much to hurt.
The
longer I live, the more unrealistic I realize that is for 2 reasons; 1) nobody
is perfect, we’re all flawed (which means I will always be a flawed friend), and
2) you’re not really being a good friend by holding back the truth from people.
It almost makes you the opposite of a good friend. I’ve learned that sometimes
you have to love someone enough to tell them no, or to tell them when they are
being rude and irrational. If you don’t, you’re letting them continue to act in
a way that isn’t good for them.
I
have never been one for confrontations. I tend to let things slide that I
really shouldn’t because I can’t stand when people are upset with me. It makes me sick when people are upset with me. I’ve realized recently that this is
a selfish way of living. I don’t address things that need to be addressed
simply because I’m scared and I don’t want someone to be mad at me. When I
think back, I remember my friends who told me when I was being mean or doing
something I shouldn’t be doing and I don’t doubt that they cared about me. I
know that they loved me enough to tell me, and it didn’t ruin our friendships,
it made them stronger. You simply cannot have a healthy relationship if you
can’t talk about things…all things. You have to be willing to hear (and tell)
the good and the bad. It may be hard to accept, but if someone stops being your
friend because you were honest with them, they really aren’t worth keeping
around. I feel like the older I get the more I realize how important it is to
surround yourself with good people. You have to weed out the ones that bring
you down and stick with the ones who actually care.
When
you spend years letting someone get away with things, it tends to wear on you.
And odds are, they don’t even know how you’re feeling because you never had the
guts to tell them that when they did something it upset you or hurt your
feelings. So they keep on doing it, and you keep on getting upset about it.
It’s a not a healthy way to live, it doesn’t benefit anyone.
It’s
important to learn when to speak up. Honesty can be a very helpful, good thing,
but you have to know when it’s appropriate and how to deliver the truth. If it’s
said at the wrong time or for the wrong reasons, it will only cause damage.
So
don’t wait until it’s too late, don’t wait until your relationship is barely
hanging on. Tell the truth love someone enough to be honest with them, love them
enough to help them overcome their weaknesses. Relationships are not about
making other people like you, they are about helping other people to become the
best possible version of themselves. That doesn’t happen when you’re letting
things slide and pretending what they do doesn’t hurt your feelings. Speak up,
for the ones you love. Don’t let them go through life clueless.
